"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle." -George Orwell

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

On the eve

A friend recently remarked to me that I had begun this blog "with grand and noble intentions and yet now you are finding it hard to keep up the energy for it."

I must admit this rings as true as the sound of New Year's Eve celebrants at midnight, and I'm glad he reminded me of this. It's something I've resolved to do awhile ago: be more consistent with my "core competencies" as a writer. (And for the record, no I do not believe in "resolutions." Rather, I believe in daily progress along the zen/Buddhist carry-water-up-the-hill line of things.)

If you've known a writer, dated one, had one in your family and/or hated one, you know that we thrive on inspiration, and can often be the source of it to others, usually once our thoughts solidify and materialize. But you probably also know that we love to begin our process, then struggle toward the final editorial finish line with all of the strength of Jell-o on two toothpicks. Believe me, writing is the metaphorical birthing process. That could explain why I still haven't had any actual children.

But truly, I did resolve a month or two ago to make my scribing-career strengths visible and consistent for all to observe, while keeping my less-realistic "stretch goals" to myself until they were more tenable. I think I began to worry (with reason) that in my relationships at home, at work and at play, others have remarked with a frequency uncomfortable to me about my wavering power, rather than my staying power.

I don't think this means I'll commit to a specific plan in terms of the frequency or duration of these missives, but I promise to ruminate well and deliver more regular feedback from my cranial control center.

Signing off ...

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